But Amanda why would you purposely do this to yourself, why would you want the hard way, the weird way? Well that's simple. I'm a big picture kind of person. Meaning that I don't just see that it's hard right now, that it's the difficult way and that I'm going to get upset (cause I do) and frustrated (do that too) but I look to what is going to happen later on, and realize that if I keep going this way this will happen and it will be awesomesauce. But that if I go that way I'll be unhappy and the kids will be sad, etc, etc.
For example, let's take that I'm a single mom that works from home. This is a very unusual thing. It's a very hard thing too. But I do it cause I looked at the big picture and felt that it was the better option right now for me and my kids.
Mostly the main driving force behind that decision is a simple one. I looked at the money. I make very little but since I live with my Papa I can afford to make little, we have enough to get what we need and that's the important thing.
But if I were to say ok I'm going to go find a job outside the house I would need to find daycare for the kids. (BTW daycare is outrageously expensive people!) So I looked up how much it would be to put both kids into daycare, taking into account the time AJ would be in school and that he would need to bused to the daycare not the house. Got a rough estimate of the amount. Then went back to my old pay stubs and looked up how much I made a week at my last full time, more than minimum wage job, with benefits and all that jazz.
My gross pay wasn't even enough to cover daycare fees for one week!
I shit you not. I was like $100 short in my gross pay on what the daycare fees would be. Now let that sink in for a minute. My gross pay, not my net pay, you know how much of my check I actually saw. Meaning that I would in reality be over $100 short for daycare fees and that would leave no money for anything else.
Which means that in order to pay for daycare AND for the basics needs of living, like food, clothing, etc, I would need to work 2 jobs. Which means I would need to pay even more for someone else to watch my kids. So I looked up how much a private baby sitter would be. Wouldn't you know it's not much less than the daycare fees for a week.
Basically the kids would never see me and I would never see them. I would be working to pay for someone else to watch the kids and I would have little money left over for what we need. OR I could work from home, not have to pay daycare fees and still have little money to pay for what we need, but be able to see the kids and interact with them. I mean this is only possible because I live with family yes, but honestly even if I didn't live with family and needed to go get a job I would probably end up working 3 jobs just to pay daycare and rent.
Which goes back to a whole other issue I have about how much people get paid vs how much the cost of living is, and how ridiculous unbalanced it is. How most people working their butts off are still receiving welfare benefits. Then how we are a people look down on those on benefits instead of realizing how messed up it is that someone working full time still needs to be on them! That's the real outrage there people, not that they are on benefits but that they still need them to live!
On the flip side of that I've had people ask me why I don't just go on benefits myself. But that's another post. Cause I have been there. I was on benefits. And I'm here to say that right now it's not worth it for me to go on them. Do I qualify? Yup. But I choose not to be on them right now. Again if I didn't live with family I would need to be on them, but I do live with family, so thankfully I don't need to be right now.
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